In a Nut Shell

Man it has been a long time since I last did an entry.  So much has happen.  First we are finally in a home, Breanna is now living here with Chris and me.  She seems to be adjusting good and has made friends at her new school.  I can honestly say that I am happy.  I have three beautiful daughters that I love dearly, one is here with me, parents that love and cherish me.  I wake up every morning next to the love of my life, I don't have a job yet but I am hopeful that one is just around the corner.  I have decided not to give up on my crazy life and I believe that even more good things are yet to come.  I have to learn to patient which is still a working process.  What I want most in life is my feet on the ground, a decent job, my children to be happy and safe, and to marry the man that I have always wanted to marry, to be with him, love him like no other and grow old with him. He is my inspiration, my hope, my dreams, he can always make me smile, laugh even when I'm upset or pissed off.  He is always there for me. I love you baby. Well that is my life right now in a nut shell!

Take time out

A few of my favorite things!!

Fairies

Butterflies

Dragonflies

Wild Flowers in the middle of a field

Rainy Days

The Beach

Mountains

Snow

Seals

Polar Bears

Lighting Bugs

Summer

Fall

These are just a few needless to say but my absolute favs!!  I think everyone should remember their favorite things in life, it will keep you innocent and appreciate life!!  Life is too short to be unhappy and upset all the time.  Enjoy your life and all the beautiful things around you!!

True Love Waits, I truly believe that.......I lost my  true love years ago, Then one day I received a message from him. My heart stopped, I couldn't breath, at first I questioned the email?. Thinking "is it really him??" Then I got up the nerve and opened it, read it and it was him. I started shaking, all my memories came rushing over me. Oh how I missed him, I to was looking for him, he was always on my mind. A day never went by where I didn't think about him, I can't explain the feeling except that it felt like a huge hole in my heart. yet I never had any luck finding him.Then fate stepped in.  Today we are finally together and I have never been happier. He fills me with laughter, joy, love and hope. I wish for everyone to experience a love that we have. He is my soul mate I do believe that.

This Month and last month have been busy, big, new, and good changes!! First finished with school! Whoohoo!! Passed my exam and got a Job that I love, Finally moved into a decent house, and went to see my girls!! Had a great time, took each of them on one on one time with me. Jocelyn and I went to get a pedicure and Ice Cream!! Audrie and I went Ice Skating that was a BLAST!!!! then we ended it with IceCream too!! Breanna and I went to dinner at her fav. place Wings N More, then we went shopping!! The next day we spent the day at the pool. We had a good time!! So needless to say my rough patch in my road to life is getting smoother..

Up on my feet

Gosh! it's been months since I last blogged!! Well several things have gone on since then!! Johnny and I filed for divorce and should be final within weeks!! The girls are doing good. Going to see them this weekend!! Only one at time but that is how Johnny wants it but hey thats ok Im just glad that I get to see them!!! Stopped working at the DG and went back to school and got my CNA license which by the way my state exam is on the 18th!!! Im excited to finally be done!! Chris and I are doing good!! I love him more with each new sun rise!! We got us a small house, but it's big enough for us and I'm happy!! We get the key today!! On Friday, going to take a road trip to the BIG ole TEXAS to see my babies!! Well that's all for now from this crazy woman!!

Me a BIG BABY when I'm SICK

For the past two days I've been sick with a sore throat and lost my voice. Yesterday Chris came home from work and took care of me, even though I was a BIG BABY when he tried to give me this spray medicine that numbs your throat. It was HORRIBLE!!! tasted like band aids (no I've never ate a band aid but I think that they would taste like that), Then he made me some really good chicken noodle soup! The man can cook!!! He must really love me to put up with me.. I know he does, and he takes such good care of me. So thank you Baby for putting up with me!! I love you..

P.S. Now my ear hurts! man I'm falling apart!! and I have to work today....BOO!!

Sick

Not feeling to good today, throat hurts, head hurts and just about everything else. Man I need the magic pill to make me feel better. I slept in until 2pm wow I have never slept in that late my whole life!! I just took the last bit of thera flu so I will probably be knocked out oh in about 15 minutes. Love that stuff, it makes my throat num, and puts me out who can ask for anything else when feel like an 18 wheeler just ran you over. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.

THANK GOD IT"S FRIDAY!!!!!

OH I'M SO HAPPY THAT TODAY IS FRIDAY!!!!! I HAVE HAD ONE CRAZY WEEK!!!

STARTED WORKING AT DOLLAR GENERAL LAST WEEKEND!! LOVE IT!! I MET SOME PRETTY INTERESTING PEOPLE THERE!! NEVER A DULL MOMENT!

ON MONDAY GOT PULLED OVER BY THE POPO'S, YA THAT WAS THRILLING!!

ON TUESDAY FOUND OUT THAT I HAVE TO GO TO COURT- PLUS PAY A 450.00 FINE!! YA, YOUR SEEING THAT RIGHT 450.00 SMACKERS!!! MY MOUTH HIT THE FLOOR TOO WHEN I FOUND OUT!

WEDNESDAY WAS AN OK DAY, WENT TO WORK HAD LIKE 5 MEN TRY TO PICK ME UP, CRAZY RIGHT? I KNOW, BUT WHAT CAN I SEE I AM ONE GOOD LOOKING CHICKA! THAT NIGHT HAD A KNOCK DOWN FIGHT WITH DUMB - - -, THEN AFTER THAT YELLED AT CHRIS FOR NO REASON WHICH I DIDN'T MEAN TOO,HE WAS ONLY TRYING TO SUPPORT ME AND TRYING TO GIVE ME ADVICE PLUS I BROKE TWO PROMISES WHICH I STILL FEEL HORRIBLE ABOUT BECAUSE I LOVE HIM AND I NEVER MEANT TO HURT HIM. I WAS SO UPSET BECAUSE OF JOHNNY, AND WHAT I DID TO CHRIS, THAT I ACTUALLY SMOKED A CIGARETTE. AND (NO)! I DONT SMOKE, I RAN OF OUT DIET COKE WHICH BY THE WAY I'M ADDICTED TO. I NEEDED TO CALM DOWN SO I TRIED A CIGARETTE WITHOUT CHRIS KNOWING I GOT ONE WHILE HE WAS IN THE SHOWER LIT WITH THE STOVE TOP AND STARTED TO SMOKE AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT IT CALMED MY NERVES DOWN!!! BUT DONT TELL NO ONE IT'S OUR LITTLE SECRET!! (JUST KIDDING) HEHE!! I KNOW MOMMA READS THIS!! HELL IF YOU HAD TO DEAL WITH THE - - - - FROM JOHNNY LIKE I DO YOU PROBABLY WOULD HAVE LIT ONE UP YOURSELF!!!

THURSDAY WAS MY DAY OFF, GOT TO SLEEP IN, CLEAN, WATCH A MOVIE, AND PLAY ON FB......I KNOW I'M ADDICTED TO IT!! THEN SILLY ME PUT BBQ SAUCE ON FROZEN CHICKEN, I THEN PUT IT BACK IN THE FRIDGE, TO COOK LATER, LITTLE DID I KNOW I HAD TO DEFROST THE CHICKEN FIRST, SO I ENDED UP FIXIN MAC AND CHEESE WITH TUNA IN IT, I KNOW DOESN'T SOUND TO TASTY BUT ACTUALLY IT WAS GOOD!!

TODAY I'M OFF AGAIN, WENT TO CHRIS'S WORK THIS MORNING B/C I HAD TO TALK TO DOLLAR GENERAL ABOUT MY SCHEDULE, HE HAD TO GO ON A RUN FIRST THING THIS MORNING, I THOUGHT HE HAD HIS KEYS WITH HIM, SO I WAS STUCK THERE, SO I JUST MINGLED WITH THE GUYS THERE, WHO WERE NICE, YET GRAPHIC, BUT I HAD A GOOD TIME!!! THEY HOOKED ME UP, FED ME, HEATED ME UP WITH A HEATER, AND LET ME PLAY ON FB, THEN WHEN CHRIS GOT BACK, I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE. THE HEAT ON MY TOES WAS FEELING GOOD SO I STAYED UNTIL HE WENT TO LUNCH. THEN WHEN WE GOT TO THE JEEP I SAW THAT THE KEYS WERE IN THE IGNITION THIS WHOLE TIME I COULD HAVE LEFT ONLY IF I HAD KNEW. EVEN IF I DID KNOW I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE STAYED THERE! LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING HIS GIRLS TONIGHT AND HE BETTER TAKE ME OR ELSE!! hehehe!! I KNOW HE WILL BECAUSE HE LOVES ME!!

SO THAT IS THE END TO MY MY CRAZY WEEK!!! I AM SOOOO LOOKING FORWARD TO THE WEEKEND THE BEST PART IS THAT I DONT HAVE TO WORK, AND I CAN SPEND THE WHOLE TWO DAYS WITH CHRIS!!

Worry why do I do it?

Worrying has always been an issue with me. Why I have no clue.... I wish i didn't have to worry, but I am slowly learning to put aside my worry and give it up and have faith and trust. Which by the way Chris told me that I didn't trust him or any one when I worry about things.. Which is so not true. I do trust him he is the man that I love, and always have loved. I use to have to handle everything and worry about every little thing because if I didn't nobody aka (johnny) else would. I like to be prepared for things to happen even if they are good or bad. But now I depend on Chris and fully do trust him and I know in my heart that he loves me, will take care of me and would never hurt me, but a little of me still worries about, the people that I love and care for and stupidness stuff in my life that I have no control over, I guess the reason as to why I worry is from having to do it for so many years. But I am working on it everyday and some days are good and others not so good, but I can say that I have more good days now and everyday I will get better, this is my goal. For I know that worry will not do, or make anything happen but anxiety, waste of a good day, and no good will come from it. So my goal is to give up all my worries and truly listen to the ones that love and support me.

My list of things to do today, i thought this was my day off!!

I'm off today, yet I have a list of things to do today,

1. pick up clothes and put them away
2. clean bathroom
3. pick up trash
4. do the dishes
5. clean kitchen
6. clean the one room that i'm living in (hehe)
7. figure out what to cook for dinner
8. cook dinner

Man I thought it was gonna be a relaxing day off, guess not.... at least this house will be clean!!

PO PO's were out to get me!!

Well today i had a run in with the po -po's!! aka(police). The jeep that I was driving weeeelllll the tags were expired and the registration was canceled!! The Cop said that I could have gone to jail but that he wasn't gonna take me there!! BOY if you could have seen my mouth!! the bottom of it fell to the floor and then I slowly picked it up and said excuse me? I have never heard of such a thing!! I explained to him that I was just a small town Texas girl that has never been in trouble with the law!! he laughed, (at least i could get him to laugh) but my charm didn't work this time!! I still got two tickets and the jeep had to stay where it was!! So I had to call Chris explain to him that his - - - - was no good and expired and that I was being cornered by the po -pos!! (hehe)

Well of course he came and got me because he loves my crazy - - -! but if I had went to jail that might have been a different story cause the man is as broke as me and I would have had to stay there for eternity!! (just kidding baby I love you)!! Oh the adventures that I endure!! If there wasn't any, life would be boring!!!

Lets give them SOMETHING to TALK about

Why is it that people have the need to spread untruths about others???????? I say - - - - them and go ahead give them something to talk about, their life must be sooooooooo boring to be able to spread - - - - about others!!!!!! So go head Talk your talk, do your walk, and don't care about what anyone says!!!!!! I have come to conclusion that they are just jealous little - - - - - - - !!!! They aren't worth your time!! You can always say my old fashion saying "WHATEVER - - - - -!"

Live your life to the fullest regardless what others say about you or think of you!!!! If your happy that is all that counts!! It's your life anyways not theirs!!!!!!

Saturday

I love saturdays!!

The best part is I get to spend time with Chris. I love watching him sleep, in fact that is what i'm doing right now, sitting on the couch watching him.He must have been tired it's almost 11:15!! He truly is a good man, yet he doesn't think so or believe so.why you ask? probably what he has done in the past, or what he has been through in his life. but this is our secret.... He really is a good man,I see his heart, he is a man who is devoted to his job, will help anyone in need before himself, kind hearted, and a loving man. I truly love this man.

This would have been an awesome relaxing Saturday, it's raining and it's dark and oh how I would just love to lounge around and watch movies all day with him, but that is not gonna happen because today is my first day at the one and only Dollar General!! Wish me luck and to everyone who gets to stay home and enjoy their Saturday(BOO YOU SUCK) I'M JUST KIDDING!! HEHEHE!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!

True Love

I believe that everyone on this earth has a soul mate that was made for them, if you are one of the lucky ones to find yours hold on to him/her. I pray that everyone will find their true love. It is truly a love that has no boundaries, trust me I have been through all the boundaries/obstacles of keeping me apart from my one true love, but it will work out in the end because it is true, you have to have faith. I believe that everyone on this earth has a soul mate that was made for them. I found mine and then lost him and now we have reunited again, and my love for him is stronger than any before, my soul belongs with his. So for all my friends that don't believe in true love, BELIEVE ME IT DOES EXIST AND YOU JUST HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL IT FINDS YOU!!! HAVE FAITH

Guess What ------ Wally World

Well you are never gonna guess this: WALMART called today and wants to have an interview! with the one and only (ME) hilarious huh!!.:) Can you just picture me of all people working at Wally World! haha!! I guess I will have a better chance of doing Crazy - - - - at Walmart like running a mock! (just kidding) I am glad that they called so i guess i will weigh my pros and cons and pick the very best one!! Well wish me luck!! LOL

Daughters are one of a kind!!

"A daughter may out grow your lap but she will never out grow your heart." Author unknown

"A daughter is a gift of love." Author Unknown

I'm a mother of three girls and each one is different in their own way.. Breanna is almost 13 and man I tell you what she is totally boy crazy!!!!!! She is very outgoing, caring, and kind but most of all a DRAMA QUEEN!! But what 13 year old isn't! But I love her.. She is my brown eyed girl!! Just to listen to her and her friends talk crack me up!!! This boy did this and this one did that..... Oh how I remember the days! I pray that she will enjoy this time in her life and try not to grow up so fast.

Audrie will be 10 next week, I can't believe it man how time flies!! She is my strong willed child, she always has everyone on their toes!! She is an Awesome dancer, courageous, outgoing, funny and plain out spoken!! But I love her just the same, she reminds me alot of me Crazy and Silly!!!

Jocelyn, my baby is 7 can you believe it... I can't!!! she is a mixture of her sisters yet she is starting to find her place!! She is crazy, funny, loves to dance and sing!! She too will tell what is on her mind without thinking twice!!!

I thank God for blessing me with three beautiful daughters!!!

"A daughter is a miracle that never ceases to be miraculous....full of beauty and forever beauty.....loving and caring and truly amazing" Deanna Beisser

It's about TIME!!!!

Guess What!------- This Crazy Woman has finally got a JOB and it's at the One and Only Dollar General!!! But hey I don't care, it's money in my pocket, and a way to get what I want- My CNA license!! Things are starting to look brighter!

Tuesday might be a terrific tuesday after all!!

Well my crazy adventure is starting to pay off.. I have 2 interviews today, one at a daycare and the other one is at the one and only Dollar General!! I know, I know those who know me are probably laughing right now at the thought of me working at D.G. but hey a woman's gotta do what she's gotta do to get what she wants!!!

I want to say thank you to Chris for pushing me forward, not giving up on my crazy ass, and for putting up with me!!! I love you baby!! and to my Mom, who has always been there for me in good and bad, loving me with no boundries, and always thinking positive!!

They are the two most important people in my life and they both have a heart of gold and have always been there for me even when sometimes i didn't know or even realize they were there.

So to everyone who reads this please say a prayer, keep your fingers crossed, and wish me luck that one of these jobs will work out!!!

Oh my, Oh my i'm going crazy

Well it's Monday and here I am again on a search for a little job, so that I can pay to renew my CNA License. Man I hope and pray that I find something soon for two reasons! 1. I'm going crazy!!!!!! there is only so much cleaning a person can do, the walls are starting to get smaller(hehe), 2. So that I can get on my merry way and renew my license and do something that I really love, taking care of others. Oh the adventures that I will go on today in search of a job........ It's going to be hideous but I love going on crazy, silly adventures even if it's to several Walmarts in one day or going from one place to another asking "Are you hiring, Are you hiring, you know you want me to work for u, come on now" hehe!! What is the fun of being serious all time in life... (exactly NO fun!) I suggest to everyone to loosen up and enjoy themselves in this crazy walk of life...!!! So Go ahead do something crazy like go to Walmart - hide under the clothes that are hanging in the clothing dept. and when someone walks by say BOO I GOTCHA!!!! and then laugh out loud, I'm telling you you will feel much better if ya do!!! You can always get a good laugh out when you go to Walmart!!!!! O.k. i know I'm totally off my subject of getting a J.O.B but hey that is just me being me CRAZY!!!!! Pray for who ever does finally decide to give me a job they can deal with my Craziness! Because they might have their hands full!!! (Just kidding)

Take a Chance

Chances: I use to be afraid of taking a chance on anyone or something in life. I use to just do the simple easy way of things, same old, same old way of things. Now that I got my courage up and took that chance I'm glad that I did. I can now say that I am a strong,confident, and independent woman. I like myself much better now. Sometimes in your life you get to a cross road that has two paths that you can go, one is the same way that you have always gone, one that feels safe because it is the only way you've ever known, so you have always gone that way. Then there is the other path that shows you new surroundings, outcomes, you don't where it will lead you. But then that one day you get the courage, take the chance, and take the other path. I am on that path right now I don't know where it will lead but I can say that I took the chance. Life is all about choices and chances it is yours and yours alone on what decision you make in your life. Remember that what ever path that your are on in your life that you are not alone that Gods is with you every step that you take.

Goals for the new year

I have decided to set goals for myself for this new year. being that last year was not such a good year. I want to make things right for myself and for others in my life.

1. Be there for my children, talk to them, listen to them.
2. Have a better relationship with my father
3. Try to get along with Johnny as we go through a divorce
4. Settle our divorce and custody in the best way for my girls
5. Get a Job
6. Renew my CNA license
7. Start school in the fall
8. Spend quality time with my girls during spring break
9. make time to laugh, and cry through out the year, not hold any feelings back
10.Help others in need
11.Try to make the best out of every situation (good or bad)
12.Dance more often
13.Read a good novel
14.Seek forgiveness from the ones that I have hurt in the past/present
15.Love with all my heart
16.Talk Apryle into coming to see me
17.To forget about the hurt that I have endured
18.To seek God and his love for me for he is a forgiving God
19.Spend quality time with the people I love and who love me

Man that is a long list for me...but I am going to stick to it and accomplish my goals this year. With God by my side all things are possible.

Best Friends

True Friendship is hard to find..... My best friend Apryle and I have been best friends since the first grade. Her friendship means more to me than anything, she is always there for me with no judgements, yet she will speak her mind which is one of her qualities that I love about her. I know that I can call her any time day/night and she will listen and just be a shoulder to cry on or to laugh with! I thank God for blessing me with such a special friend. She has a heart of gold.... I pray that others could have such a friend in their lives.

"Friendship is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." Muhammad Ali

Sometimes life takes a turn that you didn't expect to take

My life has certainly took a big loop turn these last couple of months.... I was in school doing good, working, taking of my children, homework, housework, dishes, cooking and continuously arguing with my husband over every little thing but that in it self was a daily thing for the both of us. The story of my husband and I is we met the summer of 1996 I got pregnant 6 weeks after we were dating and yes he is a good man he stepped up to his plate married me at 19 and we later had 2 more children. We got married so young and we did it for the reason of our child that she needed both parents. But know i truly believe that that was the wrong reason, that there should have been love there, but for me it was the wrong kind of love and through the years we got carried away into the daily life of rush, taking care of our girls, working, never having time to really just spend time with each other when and if we did, we never truly talked to each other, no communication between the two of us only if it regarded the girls. Then one night I received an email for a dear old friend who was my first love... I was in disbelief about the email. I haven't heard from him in over 9 years... We were always kept apart from each one way or another. As I continued to read the email over and over I didn't know if I should respond or not. But something came over me, a strong feeling that I can not explain.. So I emailed him and waited for him to respond by either email or phone and two days later he called, when I heard his voice all the feelings that I pretended that weren't there came rushing back, Oh how I missed just talking to him, we continued to talk for weeks through email and phone we both were unhappily married and had children. I was very honest with my husband about talking to my friend, at first he was OK then he threaten me to not ever talk to him again. I was hurt there was no way that I physically could stop talking to him, because I knew that my feelings for him were much stronger than I had for my own husband. I met him in a hospital waiting room when I was 13 years old, and we laughed and talked like all 13 year olds do.... We exchanged numbers and the very next day he called, after that we were inseparable, we went to the same school, he would meet me and walk me to all my classes, we went to church together, skating, youth group, the movies, playing in the snow, walks, all things that teenagers do with their first boyfriend. I knew that I loved him at 13 and I love him to this day, I know that sounds crazy saying that when I was only 13. But I truly believe in true love.. and he was my first,and only true love and he will be the last . Then he moved away to Georgia and I moved to Alabama, we still kept in contact with each through letters and phone calls, We even saw each other a couple of times, his grandmother would bring him to visit me and then one time for my birthday my Dad took us to Six Flags....Then when I was 16 he came and visit me without anyone knowing, that was the best week that I had ever had... Just to spend time with him and to look into his eyes and hold his hand was all that I needed.. Then I told my mom that he was in town because he was sleeping in his truck and I was worried about him, she then told my dad, who then informed the air force see both our dad's were in the air force and his dad was stationed in Europe. My dad was able to get him a place to stay on the base for a few days until he had to leave for Europe. Back then I thought that my Dad was keeping us apart to punish me but I know know that he was only trying to help him. Then he went to Europe and my heart was broken, I thought I would never see him again, I loved him so much, I tried to do the normal teenager thing but it was hard and i rebelled against my parents, blaming them for keeping us apart. Then we moved to Conn. and I only heard from him a few times, by letters and a few phone calls. Then one night at midnight there was a knock at the door and there he was. I couldn't believe it, he had flew back to the states and was living in Georgia and drove to Conn. just to see me. I went to him and hugged him, I could only see him for a few short minutes then my Dad took him to the police station and then poof he was gone again out of my life, and my heart ached for months even years, that was the last time I saw him, and I only heard from him once after that, It was when I moved and lived in Maryland he had tried once more to see me and failed, my mother had lied to him and told him I was in another relationship that I was happy and that he needed to move on and leave me alone, my mother lied to him and I was so upset when she told me I left the house and went looking for him and never found him I was so tore up inside, and that summer I met my husband and tried to live a normal life. But he was always on my mind, wondering if he was ok and where he was in his life. I had blamed my parents for years, for keeping us apart. I know now being a parent that they were only trying to protect me but instead they hurt me. Being a mother know and having three daughters of my own i view things differently, My oldest daughter will be 13 in 4 months, I will be there for her, listen to her thoughts and opinions when she falls in love for the first time..and believe her when she says she is in love, because I myself was in love with my true love at the age of 13 and I don't want her to go through the suffering that I went through in my heart and try to hide it from everyone. I will guide her, listen to her and be there for her instead of push her way and try to keep her and her true love away from each other. That is one of my biggest lessons that I have learned recently that true love never dies and it will find you again.I believe in fate, My love found me 9 years later in November of 2009. I decided to go and see him in December, met up with him, spent two weeks with him, just talking, laughing until all hours of the night and just spending time with him... That was when I decided that I am a 30 year old grown woman and I can make my own decisions and yes I know that I will be hurting a lot of people that I don't mean to or want to hurt but I truly believe that I deserve happiness as well as anyone else does here on this earth. I didn't love my husband the way he deserved to be loved. So yes, I made the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life, I decided to separate and divorce my husband because of several reasons, honestly we both haven't been happy in a long time, always fighting in front of our girls blaming each other for our own unhappiness in life. The way that we were living was not fair for the both of us nor our children. Yes I know that others may have a different point of view of us and our marriage, and of me but no one knows what goes on behind closed doors, except for us and our children. Yes we might have made a pretty picture of our marriage out in public, but know one wants others to know what is going on in their relationship, so we hide under a pretty picture. So now today I am in Georgia, trying to start a new chapter in my life, yes my husband is an obsessed stalker, and as for my children go they are with him, I would never want to take them away from their daddy, or their friends and their environment they don't deserve that. they deserve to be happy and in a stable home and have both their parents in their lives, parents who don't argue or fight in front of them and scare them. you know what is astonishing in this situation: Children do understand what is going on, my oldest daughter told me when I was visiting her, that she was glad, happy that her dad and I were not in the same house that maybe it would be good to be separated because there is no more fighting or crying and she is no longer scared and knows that she will have both of us in her life. when she told me that I just then realized that this was my daughter telling me this and I didn't realize how much we were hurting her when we fought and argued. And that in it's self made my mind up that my husband and I made the right decision for our children and us. So I have indeed learned a life lesson.. that life will take you in a whrill spin and it might not be what you thought would happen to you but that is life and I have learned to just hold on and trust in God. With him by my side all things are possible and I am never alone.